Building confidence at any age

Confidence is different for everyone. Some people gain more confidence with age. For others, changes to their body, career and achievements can impact how they feel about themselves and lead to a decrease in confidence.

For many women, midlife is a transitional period, and it is important to reflect on what helps you feel happy and proud.

Confidence also helps us navigate health care issues and have our voice heard.

But you can act confident even if you don’t feel confident all the time. Here are some of my tips for maintaining your sense of control and communicating your needs with confidence.

Set yourself up to succeed

Presenting like you have a healthy amount of confidence can often help you feel more in control and make it easier to get what you need or want.

Relaxed body language, deep breaths and standing tall can help others perceive us as more confident. These things can also send signals to our brain that we are safe and capable.

Confidence can be something you practise.

My other tip is around preparation. Preparing well can help you speak up and give clear direction to others. Before going to a health care appointment, job interview or event you feel nervous about, it can help to make a plan.

You might want to write down the following:

• What your goal is:
  • What is the main thing you are asking for?
  • What are you hoping to achieve or take away?
• What are the key points or questions you have for a conversation or appointment?
• What is one courageous question you might ask? For example:
  • Can you help me to understand this better?
  • Can you explain this in a different way?

You might event want to practise what you will say, or have a quick rehearsal with a friend or colleague or in front of the mirror.

Building a health care partnership

Doctors and other health professionals are there to help you achieve your desired health outcomes.

It can help to think of health care as a partnership. You and the doctor are on the same team. They might not always know how you are feeling, so direct communication can be helpful for strengthening your relationship.

It’s OK to ask for explanations in plain language or ask your doctor to write down the next steps in your care plan. It can also help to ask whether some tests are more of a priority than others, how much the cost will be and whether the issue is urgent.

You can also bring a support person if it feels helpful. This friend or family member can take notes, listen out for certain things or remind you of key questions that haven’t been answered.

If cost is not a barrier, book a longer consultation so you can give your doctor more context. This can also help take the stress out of the appointment, as you may feel less rushed.

Be your own champion

Women are always caring for others – whether it’s their parents, their kids, or whether it’s friends or their partners. It can feel hard to put yourself first, but it’s important to be kind to yourself and prioritise your health needs throughout the life course.

Positive self-talk can include asking yourself, ‘Am I being kind to myself? How would I speak to a friend in this moment?’

If a friend was concerned about their health, you would likely encourage them to speak up and make a health appointment.

Remember, any decisions about your body and health are your decisions. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to treatment or a procedure, or to ask for time to think. If you’re not being listened to, it is also reasonable to give feedback or seek a different doctor.