Tackling the ‘period talk’ with neurodivergent and non-binary kids – Bianca’s story

When my husband and I first had conversations about periods, we chose to take the emotion out and stick to the facts.

I wanted it to be a relaxed and casual thing. We have always been open with our children about periods and sex, ensuring their bodies were never a source of surprise or shame.

We bought them books based on their age and lived experience. We offered to read these books together or for them to go at their own pace.

We are a neurodivergent family and have 4 children in our household, I understand they all learn in different ways and have their own unique perspectives.

My youngest is non-binary so we didn’t say, “You’re a woman now.” We just said, “You’ve got your period now.

My 13-year-old and 16-year-old have already got enough challenges. I didn’t want them to have to navigate periods with difficulty as well.

I used to work for a period products company, so my kids saw pads and liners from a young age. When my 16-year-old was 2, she would stick them all over her teddies.

I think early conversations are so important – and pads were our starting point.

When the kids were little, and they would ask what I was doing in the bathroom, I would say “I’m just changing my pad,” and I would ask them if they wanted to see. Most of the time they would say no, but sometimes they said yes.

I think it’s important for kids to see period blood before they’re dealing with it themselves. And when they got their first periods, it meant they were OK to show me.

I felt some hesitancy to talk about period pain. I didn’t want to scare them. But letting them know that I had pain sometimes helped them know there’s things they can do to manage it.

For a time, my 16-year-old couldn’t do anything on the first day of her period. But she knows now about different forms of pain relief and has found what works for her.

My 13-year-old is dyslexic and has dysgraphia. It was important for them to feel in control. I gave them a lot of options.

Our child’s occupational therapist wasn’t necessarily an expert in this area, but we worked together as a team to learn and communicate.

We prepared a lot for their first period. We made sure their school knew as well, so that they could plan for the needs of an autistic child. We explained their first period might happen when they are in class or when they go to the bathroom.

I gave them pads and liners 2 or 3 years before they got their first period, so they knew they’d be equipped when it happened.

But they have a lot of sensory issues and don’t like feeling wet. They wanted to take off the pad immediately. While period undies work for their older siblings, the same problem came up with those. They just didn’t like the moisture.

We have worked collaboratively with their GP and found solutions to manage the blood.

I’d encourage other parents to read books about hormones and body changes for other disabilities. Some of these books write about changes in plain language and offer more flexible approaches. That helped give me new ideas as well.

Communication is important with everybody in our family. If you’re embarrassed or ashamed about something, your kids will feel that way too.

Being open and positive has had a flow-on effect for our son as well. He is 18 and has a girlfriend.

Seeing how we all take care of his sisters has helped normalise periods for him. He can go to the shop and get tampons for his girlfriend when she needs them. He knows what to get and how to be kind about it. It was important for me to bring up my son in that way.

I saw how my husband was awkward at first, and I realised that’s how he was raised. He didn’t understand why our 16-year-old couldn’t do anything on the first day of her period. But he’s learned.

She told me that he knows when it’s coming now, and he brings her home all the treats that she loves.