I wanted to celebrate my daughter’s first period – Chelsea’s story

When I first got my period, I honestly thought I was unwell, and I remember crying out to my mum because I had no idea what was happening.

Secretly, I had been hoping that my daughter’s first period would come later for her compared to me. But she had just turned 10 and was going into year 5, which is when I first got my period too.

After preparing together a lot, her response was really mind-blowing.

My daughter called me into the bathroom and was actually shaking with what I thought was fear, but turns out it was excitement! She was really pleased her period had started.

I thought, I’ve done a good thing if she thinks this is a good day instead of a terrible day.

I made the period box for my daughter because I wanted her to have something to look forward to on that day. Talking about periods beforehand meant she wasn’t embarrassed to tell me when it came.

Preparing the box helped me to relax and feel ready too. I didn’t want to have to rush out to the shops when it happened and make her feel stressed.

My advice to other parents would be to start as early as you can and involve your child. Tell them you’re making a box of special things that you’ll give them when they get their first period. Position yourself as someone who will talk about periods instead of being ashamed to mention it.

I told my daughter how her first period might happen. I said, “One day you will go to the toilet and you will find there is blood. You just come and tell me. We will work through it together.”

I also made a ‘first period pack’ for her school bag as well, in case it happened when I wasn’t there. This helped me to feel more secure.

I wanted her to go into menstruation without it being a big shock, or her feeling like it was something shameful. I wanted her to feel from the start that it was something important and special and a sign of growing up 

I also wanted to personalise the box for her. As well as pads and period undies, I added a little gift in there. I also got her aunties and grandmas and other special ladies in her life to write a little letter to her, which she could read when her period came. 

A lot of them said when they got their first period they didn’t feel like they knew what was going on or who to talk to. 

All the letters said, “You’ve got your mum and you’ve got us. We will be there for you, we love you and support you and we will be there to answer any questions.” 

Those messages felt very meaningful to me. We have a chance to break that cycle and change history in a way. 

I have a son and a husband as well as my daughter. That means half of our family is going to be having periods. The men need to be aware of it and be included in those conversations.

When my daughter’s first period came, we were all home. I said to my daughter, “Let’s get Dad and let’s tell him.” That reinforced that it’s OK, this is normal, and Dad will be there for you too.

She told him she had her first period and then she showed him some things from the box.

I said to my son and husband, “If she’s taking longer in the bathroom, I don’t want you to make a fuss, don’t make a big deal, just be sensitive to it.”

That is the son I want to raise – someone who honours the women and girls around him instead of saying something negative or embarrassing them.

Most women I’ve spoken to feel like they didn’t have the support or the information they needed in previous generations. My Mum was a great mum to me, but when I was planning the period box for my daughter she actually apologised and said she felt bad that she didn’t talk to us more about periods.

When my daughter’s period arrived, I was surprised that I felt a bit overwhelmed in that moment, even though I had made up the box. It’s a big moment and she felt so young, which must have been what my own mum felt too.

If I was to give some tips to other parents like me, I would say to do some research if you don’t feel confident. There are some great puberty books out there that you can leave with them to read through in their own time. And try not to be embarrassed, because if you are embarrassed, they will be too!

Know that one talk is not likely to be enough. Kids need repetition over time and if you have a sense of ease, openness and celebration, they might even be excited about their first period.