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Read time:4 min
From the moment her periods started, Emma Moody has lived with chronic pain. It’s impacted her work, mood and relationship with her body. Now at age 35, she is still on a quest to find pain relief. But, the mental health social worker, fertility counsellor and mum of 2 says she’s learnt a lot about what does – and doesn’t – help.
I have this vivid memory of when I got my first period. I would have been 13 or 14 and the pain was so intense, I couldn’t go to school for a couple of days. That’s my earliest memory of that kind of pain.
Years later, as I approached adulthood, I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). I thought IBS was the reason for my pain but then came my endometriosis in different parts of my body.
A lot of my pain aligns with my menstrual cycle. It comes and goes, but it’s intense, like a migraine. I can still function, but there’s a week out of every month when I know I’ll be exhausted and get the bare minimum done.
Learning to live with pain
The thing about pain is that it doesn’t just affect you physically – it hits you emotionally too and I’m still learning to navigate my way through it.
I’ve spent a long time advocating for myself, trying different treatments and pushing for answers.
I’ve explored surgical options to address the endometriosis on my ovaries and diaphragm, but this resulted in a collapsed lung.
I’ve been encouraged to keep taking different hormone therapies, even though they make me feel flat, anxious and generally not myself.
Pain relievers help dull the pain, but it doesn’t go away completely.
Over the years, I’ve learnt to hold my body a certain way, avoid certain foods and limit certain activities to keep my pain under control.
I’ve also made my mental health a priority because I know that when my mental health isn’t good, my pain is worse.
For me, good mental health means getting enough sleep and doing a yoga or Pilates class whenever I can. It’s being aware of my body, not being afraid to speak up and sometimes saying ‘I can’t do this today’.
It’s also leaning on my husband and talking to my girlfriends because there’s something powerful about women supporting women.
It’s about finding your recipe
If I could offer other women living with pain any advice, it would be to find your recipe – the things that work for you – and keep your mental health in focus.
So often, women’s health is the first thing to fall off the radar, especially when life gets busy or when it feels too hard to keep pushing.
What works for me may not work for the next woman, but it’s about figuring out your recipe because that’s going to help your pain.
Getting mental health support can be hard – and expensive. But if you can access it in some way, be it once a month or every six weeks, it can really help with pain management.
Looking ahead
I’m booked in for a hysterectomy in December and I’m hopeful it will be a turning point.
I haven’t made the decision lightly. I’ve been told that while the surgery will stop my periods, it may not guarantee I’ll be pain-free. But it’s a risk I’m willing to take to hopefully find some relief.
Whatever happens, all of these experiences have shaped how I live and work today. As a counsellor and social worker, a lot of my passion is directed towards helping women feel seen, heard and supported in ways I wish I’d been earlier in my journey.
