Talking with your kids about their first period

Every child is different in how they experience their first period. Don’t worry if you didn’t have as much time as you thought, it’s never too late to have a helpful conversation or show support.

While some kids will want lots of information and reassurance, others may just want help with the practical stuff. The key is to meet them where they are and keep your response calm, simple and supportive.

Here are some things to keep in mind that will help you along.

Remind and reassure your child

When your child gets their first period, it’s important to let them know their body is working in a normal and healthy way.

“It’s about the tone you use, not just the words you say,” says Vanessa Hamilton, who is a registered nurse and sexual health educator.

It can be helpful to start with simple, factual language to normalise these changes.

For example, your child might understand what periods are, but when they get their first period they might need confirmation and reassurance that it is a period.

Some kids might want to show you their underwear or explain what they saw and how it felt.

It might be helpful to say:

• “Yes, it sounds like your period has started.”
• “This means your body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.”
• “How are you feeling? Was it a bit of a surprise to you?”

Reassure them that they are experiencing a normal part of puberty and growing up.

Focus on practical care

Remember, this is likely the first time your child is using a pad or other type of period product. It’s important to keep things clear and simple when providing practical advice and instructions.

Show your child how to use, change and dispose of pads or liners in a calm, matter-of-fact way.

It might be helpful to say:

• “I’m here if you ever need me to help.”
• “We can look at books, diagrams or videos together, if you’d like to.”
• “You can try different period products to see what feels comfortable.”

If your ​​child has period pain or heavy bleeding, it’s important to talk about what is and isn’t normal and how they can manage these symptoms.

Reassure your child that help is available if their period feels unmanageable.

Listen and normalise feelings

Your child’s first period might bring up negative memories for you or your partner about your first period. That’s OK and it can be helpful to talk about those memories to a friend or family member, instead of your child.

When it comes to their first period, it’s important not to assume how your child will feel. Try to listen and let their questions guide how much detail you give. If they feel nervous or embarrassed, you can ask gentle, encouraging questions.

It might be helpful to say:

• However you feel is OK. I’m here to listen.
• Everyone’s first period is different. Do you want to tell me how you are feeling about yours?
• Is anything different to what you expected? Would you like to talk about it?

Remember this is the start of many small conversations, not one big talk. Share only what she needs to know right now. You can add more later.

Keep learning about periods together

Your child’s first period is the start of a journey together. Reinforce that this is something you’ll figure out as a team, over time.

Some parents chose to read information together. Others like to go shopping together and include treats (like chocolate) in their routine.

Exploring period products together can be helpful as their confidence grows. You might say, “Period underwear is a new option for managing periods. Is that something you would like to try?”

Giving your child choices can help them find what works best for them. Being open to different options means you might be learning as you go too.

Let her know she can come back with questions anytime. If you don’t have the answer you can say, “I’m not sure, but I will find an answer and let you know,” or, “Let’s do some research together.”

Each small conversation helps them grow more comfortable with talking about their body and asking for help.

Read Vanessa Hamilton’s other tips on talking to your child about periods.