Menopause information for partners 

During perimenopause (the lead-up to menopause), hormonal changes can cause symptoms that affect your partner’s health, energy levels, sex drive (libido) and mood.

Perimenopause usually starts when a woman is in her 40s. On average, it lasts 4 to 6 years, but it can last anywhere from one to 10 years.

Menopause occurs during midlife (45 to 55 years), which is the time when many women have other large pressures. For example, this is often when women have the highest levels of caring (for children and, often, also for older family members), work pressures, financial pressures and the ‘domestic load’ (cleaning, shopping, laundry, cooking etc).

A first step for every partner is to think about whether you and other family members can do more to take some of these pressures off your partner.

All women experience menopause differently. Some have very few symptoms and others have severe symptoms that affect their daily life.

Common physical symptoms range from irregular periods, hot flushes and night sweats to fatigue and vaginal dryness.

Your partner might also have emotional symptoms, ranging from low mood and anxiety to forgetfulness.

You might feel that leaving your partner alone to deal with this is the best approach, but it’s important to support them during this time. Giving your partner the chance to discuss how she is feeling and how symptoms are affecting her can be very helpful.

It’s common for women to have lower sex drive (libido) around the time of menopause. This may be due to changing hormone levels, low mood, changing body shape, fatigue and vaginal dryness (which can cause pain during sex).

There are many treatments for vaginal dryness. Menopausal hormone treatment (MHT), vaginal oestrogen and vaginal moisturisers can help. Lubricants may also relieve discomfort during sex.

Even if some treatments help, it’s common for women to continue to be anxious about sex. If this happens, try to be patient and supportive.

In the lead-up to menopause, the levels of female hormones drop, and the ovaries stop releasing eggs. A woman can still get pregnant during perimenopause, but not after menopause.

Your partner (and you) might have mixed emotions about reaching the end of her ability to become pregnant.

There are many things you can do to support your partner through the different stages of menopause. For example:

• listen and be supportive
• understand that some (not all) mood changes may be due to menopause
• allow your partner to express their feelings, even if you don’t understand them
• ask your partner to help you understand their symptoms
• encourage your partner to talk about what they need and when they need it

You can also:

• consider whether the bulk of caring or domestic responsibilities are falling on your partner and whether you can do more to help her with these
• keep an open mind about why your partner might be acting differently
• support your partner to make healthy choices, like eating healthy food and reducing alcohol consumption (which can affect menopausal symptoms)
• be patient when it comes to sex – and find other ways to be intimate
• go with your partner to medical appointments or counselling (if required).