Dear Friend of Jean Hailes
 Welcome to our new-look magazine. We hope you like our fresh approach and commitment to providing you and your family with useful health information.
This is a special take-to-bed edition in response to your feedback. Share it with the women in your life – take it to bed and enjoy! Some of the most popular issues we are asked about are sleep, sex and stress – issues that resonate with many women.
As women, we rarely find time just for us. We’re always busy looking after everyone else. What is it those flight attendants say when showing us how to use an oxygen mask? The message is this: take care of yourself first, then help those around you – including children. You can’t help anyone else if you don’t look after yourself first. With a recent back injury, I’ve realised this first-hand.
As we launch a new-look magazine, we also are changing our name to the Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health. We want everyone to know what we do and we think this says it pretty clearly. We’re committed to helping you, your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts and friends improve your life through healthy living and well-informed management of illness and disease.
What sets us apart is that we are not focussed on one particular disease, but, instead, look at the whole person, especially ageing well. We want you to feel fired up about healthy living and as a result, avoid issues connected to poor lifestyle choices and ageing. Even though this sounds simple, I know that sometimes it is hard to do.
As we share our messages with Australian women and health professionals around the country, we are on a constant quest for funds. A big thank you to several supportive groups of women: Westpac Women in Business, Waverley Patch Workers and Echuca Ladies Day Luncheon. Each group organised a very successful fundraiser for the Foundation.
Perhaps you’d like to donate or hold a fundraising event with your social or sporting group. It’s a great way to get together with friends, have time out and make a difference to women’s health in Australia.
Please call me if you would like to help us continue our work. I’d love to hear from you.
Happy holidays.
Janet Michelmore AO
Director, The Jean Hailes Foundation.
Janet can be contacted on 1800 151 441
Safe sex: you’re never too old
 Sexuality is mostly depicted by young and vibrant couples, but in reality sex can be part of any stage of life. Many women may not have a partner, some may be in same-sex relationships or may have a partner with ill health.
The key to enjoying a fulfilling sexual relationship as we grow older is understanding ourselves and our partners, and growing with and accepting each other.
As we age we’re constantly developing and changing, but there are some things we can expect to enjoy as much as always and, thankfully, taking pleasure in a loving and caring relationship is one of them. And yes, that can include sex. But as we grow older our attitudes towards, and desire for, sex can change.
It’s important to remember, regardless of your stage of life, enjoying a sexual relationship is not purely about sexual intercourse. It’s about thinking and feeling sexy, touching, kissing, caressing, cuddling, and talking about sex. While many older couples might report their sex drive has diminished, they’re usually referring to their desire for intercourse. They still love, touch, hug and caress, and perhaps even masturbate.
It’s normal for desire to fluctuate, and while there may be many reasons for this, as we grow older the hormone changes associated with menopause may influence desire and arousal for many women. Remember too that a man’s libido may be influenced by age, illness, stress or medication.
Oestrogen loss at midlife causes much of the discomfort (eg vaginal dryness, loss of vaginal elasticity or contact bleeding) that can occur during intercourse. This can create a negative association with sex. Water-based lubricants or oestrogen cream applied locally may help to relieve these symptoms. Lower oestrogen can also influence our perception of touch, and may decrease muscle tone and elasticity of the pelvic floor. Hot flushes and night sweats can impact on sleep, which may make women tired and lethargic and uninterested in sex.
For those who weren’t brought up with safe sex warnings, there’s one simple rule to remember – no condom, no sex!
The good news is that simple lifestyle changes can ease symptoms. Changing what you eat, being more physically active, trying a lubricant and seeking advice from a health practitioner may offer some relief. Talking to your partner about the changes you’re experiencing can also help, as it not only lifts some of your anxiety, but may help your sex life. Studies of women who have used oestrogen and progestogen therapy have found vaginal dryness improves and overall the vagina, vaginal walls and cervix improve in elasticity and thickness. Another factor, increasingly relevant to some women as they age, is changing sexual partners. With the high divorce rate and women outliving men, some women find themselves facing new relationships at an older age. Until menopause is reached women are not totally protected from pregnancy, despite the decline in fertility during perimenopause. The safe sex message is just as important at this time.
The risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs), including HIV, remains a lifelong concern and knowledge of safe sex practices, including the use of condoms and other preventative measures, is important.
Being born before the age of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, such as herpes and the rapidly spreading Chlamydia, many older women commencing new relationships for the first time in 25 years forget about applying safe sex rules. For those who weren’t brought up with safe sex warnings, there’s one simple rule to remember – no condom, no sex!
Once you understand the changes your body experiences as you age, which can influence your sexual drive, and are comfortable in knowing how to deal with those changes, there is no physical reason why you can’t enjoy a safe, happy and satisfying sex life. And the good news is that many women actually find that with age their sex lives improve as they become more comfortable with their bodies and who they are.
It is important that society frees older women from sexual taboos, stereotypes and misconceptions as a way of trying to control their sexuality and sexual behaviour. With information and support, women can challenge negative social attitudes and continue to enjoy and express their sexuality in their own way.
Resources
For more information on sexuality and libido or to purchase a copy of Good Loving Great Sex by Dr Rosie King, log on to www.jeanhailes.org.au or call tollfree on 1 800 151 441.
It is important that all women aged between 8 and 70 who have ever been sexually active have a Pap test every two years. Further information on cervical health and Pap tests can be found at www.papscreen.org
Thanks to the Foundation’s gynaecologist Dr Elizabeth Farrell for her insights into safe sex as we age.
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Hot tips for understanding and improving your libido
1. Determine what influences your libido. Hormones, illness, medication, relationships, personality, sexual history and society’s expectations and attitudes can influence libido.
2. Assess your own libido. Determine if you are happy with it. A low libido is only a problem if you perceive it to be a problem.
3. Work out why you have sex. There are many reasons for having sex, including lust, to create intimacy, fun and pleasure, an affirmation of your desirability, to make babies, or even to avoid conflict.
4. Check your desire switch. Realise there is nothing wrong with you if your level of desire drops away over time in a relationship.
5. Understand the physical. By understanding what happens physically during sexual activity, we have a better idea of where things can go wrong and what we can do about it.
6. Accept your libido may be different from your partner’s. In general, women prefer being romanced, while men tend to respond to spontaneity and visual stimulation and do not seem to be as affected by a bad day or fatigue when it comes to sex. These are generalisations, but it can be helpful to discuss differences with your partner, including what your own personal enhancers and distracters to libido are.
7. Stop comparing. We often think everybody is having more sex than we are, or that young, beautiful, thin people have lots of sex. If we are happy with our level of libido, and our partner is also satisfied, then it doesn’t matter whether we are keeping up with everybody else or not!
8. Seek help for depression and anxiety. One in five adult Australians will experience an anxiety or depressive disorder. Mood disorders may impact negatively on libido. If you are suffering from depression or anxiety it is important that you seek help. Hopefully, finding the right treatment will also improve your sexual desire.
9. It’s okay not to always feel desire when you have sex. As long as you care for your partner, there is no coercion, abuse or pain and you find sexual activity enjoyable, then sometimes it is okay to decide to have sex – without desire. Many women find even though they may not be sexually interested at the time, once things get going it is enjoyable.
10. Seek professional help if you need to. If you have thought about your libido and are worried about something, or it is causing you problems, then it is important to do something about it. For example, if you are having problems in your relationship or you have a very different level of desire to your partner’s and it is causing you concern, then seek professional help, either alone, or if appropriate, together. There are many practitioners, from doctors to specialist psychologists, who can help you.
With thanks to the Foundation’s psychologist Dr Amanda Deeks for the above tips on libido.
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This resource was developed with the support of the Australian Department of Health and Ageing.
Due to recent changes in Australian privacy laws your permission is required for The Jean Hailes Foundation to continue sending you information about our activities. You will continue to receive information unless you indicate otherwise. If you wish to be removed from our mailing list, or would like to make changes or additions to your contact details, please contact us on 03 9562 6771 (1800 151 441 tollfree).
The Jean Hailes Foundation magazine is designed to be informative and educational. It is not intended that The Jean Hailes Foundation magazine provide specific medical advice or replace advice from your health professional. The Jean Hailes Foundation does not accept any liability to any person for the information or advice (or the use of information or advice) which is provided in this magazine or incorporated into it by reference. Information is provided on the basis that all persons reading the magazine undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content.
© The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women's Health.
Apart from fair dealing for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under copyright legislation, no part may be reproduced or reused for any commercial purposes.
Note: This article is an archive. Whilst the Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health has made every effort to ensure this information was accurate at the time of publication, the article content has not been updated since the date listed below.
Content created December 01, 2005
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