A time for ME
What really happens to you during menopause? Is it the end of your sexuality or could it be the beginning of a new you? Is it a face lift and a convertible, or a chance to embrace your career, become a volunteer or claim precious time for yourself? Or perhaps it’s time for the kids to move out …
 Renowned Australian psychologist Dr Mandy Deeks takes a fresh look at a much-maligned topic in her new book, Life Begins at Menopause?: A guide to the changes at midlife and menopause for women and their partners.
Dr Deeks’ investigation into the social and psychological impact of the years around menopause is timely. Today’s woman is better educated than ever before. Many of us juggle a range of responsibilities; we’ve kept fingers in many pies – potentially offering a wider range of options to enrich our lives as we age.
As women often put everyone else’s needs before their own, menopause provides a wonderful time to reassess where we are going and to seek out more information.
Western medicine and natural therapies provide an ever-increasing range of options to deal with menopausal symptoms and we are better informed on how and when to use them. And while the symptoms have received lots of bad press, Dr Deeks’ book offers a new view – an inspirational look at these years and the potential they bring.
Changing relationships
Along with physical and psychological symptoms, menopause may bring changes that impact on relationships – with family, friends and colleagues.
Relationships between women, their partners and family are often challenged at this time, according to Dr Deeks. “The quality of our relationships is one of the most significant influences on our wellbeing,” she says. “When our relationships cause us distress, it’s important to work out what is compromising the quality of these relationships and what can be done. We also need to be honest about our needs, desires and dreams.”
There may be a lot going on in a woman’s life at this time. Women who’ve had babies in their late thirties or forties are going through menopause just as their daughters are beginning their reproductive lives. Also, many women may be caring for ageing relatives, with all the competing demands associated, observes Dr Deeks.
"Speaking personally, it was … a huge relief when my wife said she doesn’t want me to fix all her problems, she just wants me to listen!” – John
Exploring relationships with children and family
Questions you might like to ask yourself
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If you have children
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What are your thoughts and feelings about the relationship you have with your children?
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What expectations do you have of yourself as a mother?
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Are you perhaps being too hard on yourself?
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If you are dissatisfied with the relationship you have with your children, what could you do about it?
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If your identity is tied up with your children, what could you do to challenge this and create new identities (if you want or need to)?
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If you don’t have children
Ageing relatives
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Time to celebrate
Menopause can also be a time of growth and celebration for women. As one woman, Eve, told Dr Deeks: “Getting older and wiser, growing together, has helped our relationship. Menopause comes to women at that stage of life – for both middle-aged parent and young adult child – that marks developmental growth and maturity in different but equally significant ways”.
And partners?
“Many partners wonder what’s going on and ask how can I fix it? The answer is, you probably can’t, but you will earn big ‘brownie points’ for understanding and listening to what’s going on for your partner. Listening is the key,” Dr Deeks advises.
And sex? Well, there’s good and bad news. Dr Deeks gives honest advice on this sensitive area to help partners understand why their sex lives may take a bit of a battering. “It’s worth remembering that while half have problems in this area, half don’t.”
A time for you
 The final word is for women approaching and passing this threshold: “Remember, this is your life and only you are really in control of it. We are very complex beings and there are many influences on our lives, especially our physical and emotional wellbeing. Take time to make important decisions in your life. Identify areas that need changing. Maybe now is the time to begin again!”
Life Begins at Menopause? A guide to the changes at midlife and menopause for women and their partners by psychologist Dr Mandy Deeks, PhD.$24.95 + postage and handling.
A percentage of profits will go to The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health.
Books can be ordered in our online shop at http://shop.jeanhailes.org.au or call 1800 151 441 to obtain your copy.
To find out more about Dr Deeks or Life Begins at Menopause? go to www.lifebeginsatmenopause.com.au
What’s new in education
This year we’ve spread our wings across every state and territory in Australia, using both traditional face-to-face community events and innovative videoconferencing programs for health professionals.
for womenJean Hailes website expanded
Welcome to our new suite of Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health websites. To make health information easier for you to find, we’ve developed a series of websites to keep you up to date and well informed. Take a look. We welcome your feedback.
www.jeanhailes.org.au
www.managingmenopause.org.au
www.healthforwomen.org.au
www.earlymenopause.org.au
www.bonehealthforlife.org.au
www.ageingwell.org.au
www.managingpcos.org.au
Community educators available
across Victoria
Our fully trained women’s health educators are available to talk to your community group anywhere in Victoria. Find out more details by emailing your inquiry to
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or freecall 1800 151 441.
Community seminars
Australia wide
This year we held community seminars in Wagga Wagga and Newcastle in NSW. Both events were a huge success and we hope everyone enjoyed the evenings.
Seminars for 2007 are still being finalised, but are likely to be held in NT, SA, WA and Griffith, NSW (confirmed).
Inquiries:
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English and multicultural fact sheets
We now have over 20 English and seven fact sheets in other languages available.
New English fact sheets include:
Menopause fact sheets in other languages:
Croation Russian Spanish Turkish Macedonian Serbian Tigrigna
Log on to www.jeanhailes.org.au to check out these new resources.
for health professionals
Making education accessible across Australia
Video conferencing technology means that health professionals across Australia can overcome the barriers of travel time and isolation to access women’s health updates via live video link-up.
Our pilot program this year saw health professionals in every state tune in to: Hormone therapy and women’s health initiative presented by Professors Henry Burger and Helena Teede.
A biopsychosocial approach to menopause and midlife presented by Dr Elizabeth Farrell and Dr Mandy Deeks.
Polycystic ovarian syndrome and gestational diabetes presented by Professor Helena Teede and Associate Professor Beverley Vollenhoven.
Look out for further women’s health updates using videoconferencing in 2007
Potential topics include:
Cardiovascular disease in women
Medically induced menopause
Libido and testosterone levels in women
Diabetes in women
This year’s topics are now available as webcasts by logging on to www.jeanhailes.org.au
Inquiries:
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or
call tollfree 1800 151 441.
Bookings: www.telehealth.com.au
GP and health professional events
We recently held two women’s health updates for doctors and health professionals in Newcastle, NSW, partnering Hunter Women’s Health and Menopause Centre, Hunter Postgraduate Medical Institute and Women’s Health Australia.
In 2007 we are planning health professional updates in Griffith, NSW, Darwin, NT, Tasmania, South Australia and West Australia.
Inquiries:
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Resources
For dates of other community and health professional events, plus new resources being developed, log on to www.jeanhailes.org.au or email
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or call tollfree on 1800 151 441.
Privacy Statement
Due to recent changes in Australian privacy laws your permission is required for the Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health to continue sending you information about our activities. You will continue to receive information unless you indicate otherwise. If you wish to be removed from our mailing list, or would like to make changes or additions to your contact details, please contact us on (03) 9562 6771 or tollfree on 1800 151 441.
The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health national magazine is designed to be informative and educational. It is not intended to provide specific medical advice or replace advice from your health professional. The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health does not accept any liability to any person for the information or advice (or the use of information or advice) which is provided in this national magazine or incorporated into it by reference. Information is provided on the basis that all persons reading the national magazine undertake responsibility for assessing the relevance and accuracy of its content.
© 2006 The Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health
Apart from fair dealing for the purposes of private study, research, criticism or review, as permitted under copyright legislation, no part may be reproduced or reused for any commercial purposes.
Note: This article is an archive. Whilst the Jean Hailes Foundation for Women’s Health has made every effort to ensure this information was accurate at the time of publication, the article content has not been updated since the date listed below.
Content updated November 28, 2006
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